How Can I Get REAL Help for My Addictions Without Missing Work?
Question by Tina M: How can I get REAL help for my addictions without missing work?
I want to quit but don’t want everyone to know, plus I can’t miss work . . . I’m trying to prove myself to a new boss. Help! I use meth every day but sleep every night. I am 48, F, overweight (so you see I don’t do it to an extreme). I know I need help, but don’t know who to turn to. (Not my husband, I tried that last year and he now wants a divorce) I hope somebody has some real, workable ideas. I’ve tried in the past few years, but I feel so awful and so so sleepy, I can’t work like that, I and really, really need my job. Since my big confessions, I am my childrens only provider. H e l p !
Best answer:
Answer by HINDU
Addictions are not formed overnight. An addiction connotes a mental habit of becoming attached to something on which you have become dependent. We commonly think of drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, coffee etc. to be objects of addiction.
However, a habit can be as addictive; be it playing cards, sex, watching TV, gossiping, or anything else that you cannot help but do. If for some reason you are unable to indulge in the habit or activity to which you are addicted, it leads to tremendous discomfort, frustration, anger, or even unbearable physical pain (as in drug addiction).
Needless to say, all addictions are undesirable. Addiction builds its fetters around you making you an inmate in your self-created prison. If a simple thing like not having tea or coffee can spoil your day and make you unfit for efficient work, then whither enlightenment? When you give in to addictions, you give up freedom.
Habits or addictions spring from constant repetition of certain actions. These actions may have been repeatedly performed due to ignorance or under the influence of wrong judgement. Sometimes simple actions too have a snowballing effect. Habits become ingrained in the mind depending on how often they are repeated as well as the will of the person. A weak-willed person becomes a slave of habit sooner than a strong-willed person.
In order to overcome an addiction or undesirable habit, we have to adopt a ‘contrary’ approach. Here one needs to understand how an action that is opposite in nature to the pertinent habit will help. It may be next to impossible to wipe out a habit and let a vacuum or void take its place. In the beginning, we should strive to replace it with something positive.
For instance, if you smoke, it may a good idea to bite into a piece of clove or candy or something harmless instead. True freedom will never entail replacing a greater evil by a lesser evil, and yet practically, this may be very difficult to achieve except by a select few.
Let us also remember the basic facts about thoughts that influence action. In fact all action springs from thoughts. That is the seed and the cause to the effect.
The fact that every action is repeated is an indicator of the fact that the thought or thoughts behind it are repeated too. Thus to revert an action we have to revert our thoughts. By reiterating a positive thought we move easily towards the corresponding actions.
Thus, at a basic level we need to dive deep into the mind from where thoughts emerge. We need to consciously imbue the mind with positive thoughts or affirmations. To overcome a particular habit or addiction you need to formulate an appropriate affirmation which strengthens the corresponding positive qualities.
For instance, if you want to give up smoking, think of the positive state you would be in, when you are free of this habit. Say to yourself: “I am free. I am happy, healthy and poised. I can do whatever I want, whenever I wish, independently.” If you are given top frivolous gossiping and now feel it is time to shed this habit, affirm to yourself: “I am calm and filled with s deep silence. I turn inward to discover joy and freedom. I radiate friendliness and love to all.”
Repeat this regularly following the rules of affirmation outlined in this section, until it melts into your subconscious, from where by penetrating your superconscious it will automatically bounce back to start influencing your conscious physical and mental habits and thought patterns.
Swami Sukhabodhananda
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One youngster comes to me very depressed and asks this question “Why is God creating so many difficulties for us? How to handle stress?” I tell this youngster to reflect on this beautiful story:
A man goes to a shop, picks up a beautiful cup and says “my god this cup is so beautiful” and suddenly the cup starts talking to the man. The cup starts saying “O man, I am beautiful right now, but what was the state of my being before the pot-maker made me a beautiful pot?
Before I was sheer mud and the pot-maker pulled me out of the mud from the mother earth and I felt why that pot-maker is so cruel, he has separated me from mother earth. I felt a tremendous pain. And the pot-maker said, “Just wait.” Then he put me and churned me, when I was churned I felt so giddy, so painful, so stressful, I asked the pot-maker “Why are you so cruel?” the pot-maker said, “Just wait.” Then he put me into a oven and heated me up, I felt completely burnt. There was tremendous pain and I asked the pot-maker “Why are you so cruel?” and the pot-maker said, “Just wait.”
Then he poured hot paint on me and I felt the fume and the pain, I again asked the pot-maker “Why are you so cruel?” and the pot-maker said, “Just wait.” Then again he put me into an oven and heated it to make me more strong, I felt life is so painful hence pleaded the pot-maker and the pot-maker said, “Just wait.” And after that the pot-maker took me to the mirror and said, “Now look at yourself”. And surprisingly I found myself so beautiful.
When god gives us lot of trouble, it appears god is very cruel but we need patience and we have to wait. When bad things happen to good people, they become better and not bitter.
So all difficulties are part of a cosmic design to make us really beautiful. We need patience, we need understanding, we need the commitment to go through in a very calm and wise way. So all difficulties are not to tumble us but to humble us.
With this understanding, let us not be against difficulty. Understand difficulty is a part of a purifying process. A purifying process at present which we cannot understand and hence we need faith and we need trust.
Let us understand how to handle stress with this background. You can be affected by stress from two angles. There is an internal stress and there is an external stress. Nobody can avoid stress; one has to only manage stress. Managing stress can be internal and also external.
The internal stress is; your thoughts can create stress, your values can create stress, and your beliefs can create stress, meaning thereby your stress is coming from your mind more from the outer world. Many people suffer not from heart attack – they suffer from thought-attack.
For example, when somebody says you are an idiot, we get so hurt, we get so victimised. My boss has called me an idiot and I am feeling tremendous pain. Now where does this stress come from? If my boss has called me an idiot, I have to ask myself “am I an idiot”?
If I am an idiot nothing to be upset about; and if I am not an idiot, then also nothing to be upset about! It is the perception of the boss. But why do we suffer from that stress? I suffer not because my boss has called me an idiot but because of the thought-attack.
I may say the boss has called me an idiot; therefore I am suffering? It is true that the words are unpleasant. But what hurts is the interpretation of the unpleasant word. The thought in me interprets. That is pain and therefore it becomes pain. Much of our stress is our mind interpreting it as pain. So we suffer from thought-attack more than heart attack.
Answer by David L
I would suggest going to NA meetings. Twelve-step programs work and are readily available. Do an internet search or go to the NA website to get meeting schedules in your area. I know what you are going through. It’s tough, but if you follow the suggestions from people who have been there, you can kick the habit. God bless.