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Do Highly Intelligent People Find It Harder to Fall in Love?

Question by Bane From Batman: Do highly intelligent people find it harder to fall in love?
It’s as if their whole approach to love is very different, cerebral in nature. They even don’t react to romantic songs in the same way, trying to avoid any outward display of feelings or emotions.

I know that people who put their “hearts over minds” may risk being derided as stupids or emotional fools. They’re never as successful or ambitious as their high IQ counterparts but enjoy way more happiness on account of being able to give and receive love freely.

Being a loving person does have disadvantages though: you become more easily trusting of people seeing the common goodness in all human beings which makes you easy prey to manipulations, deception and scheming.

It’s not that intelligent people didn’t ever fall in love but they somehow figured out (maybe through an occasional heartbreak) that it’s not worth getting serious about a “chemical imbalance in the brains”.

Well, some intelligent people do fall in love but for different reasons, just to get that dopamine high in brain. It has been scientifically proven that love activates the same brain receptors as heroin and cannabis addiction.

Statistically though, people who we describe as “not so bright” fall in and out of love most easily. They don’t really apply their minds much, are able to effectively silence the inner critic, the loud chatterbox in the brain. This makes giving and receiving love a lot easier.

Best answer:

Answer by tehabwa
No, it is NOT at all the way you describe. You are describing STEREOTYPES, not REALITY.

Answer by ? QM ?
I think you have a misguided understanding of “highly intelligent” individuals. You seem to forget that they’re just as human as anyone else and have the same needs and desires; the desires of love, need to feel understood, need to express, etc. In fact, highly intelligent individuals are generally more emotionally reactive than the average individual. I have studied intellectual precocity quite extensively and many studies show that the intellectually gifted are more sensitive to emotional and physical stimuli. A plausible reason for this is due to the fact that the intellectually gifted already have a neural network that is denser than your typical person. More connections leads to a greater influence from a stimuli. They think on a deeper level and they tend to feel on a deeper level as well.

“I know that people who put their “hearts over minds” may risk being derided as stupids or emotional fools. They’re never as successful or ambitious as their high IQ counterparts but enjoy way more happiness on account of being able to give and receive love freely.”

Who says emotional people are never as successful or ambitious? Where do you think ambition comes from? You just described the characteristics of many famous poets who aren’t stupid and who were successful; not only poets, but human rights activists as well like MLK Jr. It is somewhat true to say that intellectuals tend to be less happy… Ignorance is bliss and sometimes heightened awareness of things can be a burden, but it isn’t true that every intellectual is sad. There is nothing wrong with putting the heart over the mind in certain situation, but it is wise to be level-headed as well and to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“Being a loving person does have disadvantages though: you become more easily trusting of people seeing the common goodness in all human beings which makes you easy prey to manipulations, deception and scheming.”

Those who are easily trusting of others have little life experience or don’t learn very fast or they just have a very hard time saying “no”. Those who love do so because they have sympathy or they have feelings for others, that doesn’t mean a loving person is not a cynical one. Loving people don’t necessarily see all people as good. I love people, but I do not see them all as good.. I understand everyone has good within them, but we humans are imperfect beings, I only love because I feel sympathy for others and I don’t like to see others in pain, not even my enemies. Love is something that people desire and need in a world of hate and inconsiderate pricks.

There is a major difference between a cynical person and a hateful person.. the cynic understands the imperfection of human beings, the hateful person only hates because they lack understanding.
The cynic hates the nature of humans and the hateful hate the human.

It may seem a strange amalgamation; love without trust.. But does a parent hate their child simply because they may not trust them? Do two lovers without trust not love each other? Trust is something that builds, love is a quality.

“It’s not that intelligent people didn’t ever fall in love but they somehow figured out (maybe through an occasional heartbreak) that it’s not worth getting serious about a “chemical imbalance in the brains”.”

Intellectuals often have a difficult time “fitting in” or feeling that others understand them because they are by their nature, different than most people and have a difficult time relating to others. Romance is probably something difficult for them to find, but they desire it all the same as any human being. So, you’re likely correct that they would tend to have a more difficult time falling in love because they find people difficult to relate to.. They’re interested in different things and they think differently. The higher the intelligence the more challenging they will likely have in relating to others.

“Statistically though, people who we describe as “not so bright” fall in and out of love most easily. They don’t really apply their minds much, are able to effectively silence the inner critic, the loud chatterbox in the brain. This makes giving and receiving love a lot easier.”

People who fall in and out of love most easily are not “not so bright”, they’re impulsive or young and don’t understand love. Experience and wisdom, not raw intelligence, is the culprit here. Another thing you should know is that intelligent people don’t apply their minds to everything. Just because someone has it doesn’t mean they use it.

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